Would you sleep beside me?

Sure. I’d lay beside you every single night. Heck, I’d lay beside you under the stars. But do you, really? Do you want to do this? 

And her heart broke once more. Her fragile heart sewn together by little fibers of what was keeping her sane. Of what was keeping her human. But there you go again sweeping her off her feet, telling her things that make her heart skip a beat. And once more her tummy was filled with butterflies flying. And she tries so hard to fight it. Falling over and over again for you when you’re not even there to catch her when she falls. How long will this carry on? She’s fine with just being by your side. She’s taught herself to accept that it’s all you can ever be. She’s fine watching by the sidelines. So stop it. Stop being nice and sweet and thoughtful and supportive and being everything that she’s fallen for. Please. Because every time she falls for you and you leave her again, her heart breaks once more.

Que Sera

We’ll see.

We’ll see.

We’ll see.

That’s what you always tell me. Well then let’s see where this story goes.  I was a little mad honestly. But not anymore. It’s just sad though because the only reason I’m not mad anymore is because I’m resigned to the fact that this is all you’ll ever be. That most probably, this is all we’ll ever be. You’re absolutely right. I do not deserve to be treated this way. The only issue to resolve here now is what to do after acknowledging the fact that I do not deserve to be treated like this.

Status quo. To do nothing. I am all but passive to even do anything. Do what you want. And I’ll try my best to just go with the flow. 

We’ll see.

To God be the glory.

No more paper cramming. No more group meetings. No more email spamming. My semester is done. Finally. Thank You Lord for sustaining me. Praise You Lord. You are so amazing. When I was sick, You made me better. When I was weak, You made me strong. When I no longer wanted to go on, You gave me the motivation. Thank You Lord. Thank You. Para ‘to lahat sa Iyo. :’)

Not entirely sure

Would you prefer it if there was something there, you just weren’t sure what it was OR if you were absolutely sure that there’s nothing there? If you asked me before, I would have chosen the latter. If you asked me a week ago, I would have chosen the first choice. But now, I’m not entirely sure. 

One of a kind

She stood there waiting for you to take her away. Somewhere far away where no one can find you. But instead you chose to be alone. You chose to shove her away. And she’s getting tired, you know. She’s running out of things to hope for. Plus someone else might sweep her off her feet. Tick-tock. Ball’s on your court, brother.

“We can’t complain about karma. It isn’t unfair. It isn’t unexpected. It just evens things out.”

Some random episode of Grey’s Anatomy

It’s been long overdue.

I sat there waiting for the one thing I knew would disprove the only certainty in my life. I waited. Even though it would have been better not to. I waited. For the problem to swallow me whole. To complicate my once simple life. That is irony. It is indeed true when they said that people bring upon themselves their biggest mistakes. In my case, I might lose everything. But here I am. Waiting for my biggest mistake. Not even sure if it will really happen. yet here I wait.

You are the paradox of my existence. You are the mistake that shall correct all of my wrong doings. The mistake that shall put me back on the right path. You are my oxymoron.

Hitch hiker’s guide to making ______ fall in love.

To make things clear, I am no expert in relationships. Not an expert in love, and just about as clueless as a spoon when it comes to boys. But hey, I’ve seen a lot of movies. And I have been hanging out with my guy pals lately. So maybe, I can survive. I don’t recommend this to be applied to everybody. Relationships are just about as random as Bertie Bott’s every flavor jelly beans (pardon the geeky reference). You never know what flavor you might get. From the most acceptable and normal flavors to the most weird tasting ones. And yes, I did deduce the randomness of a relationship to a fictional confectionery. I’m a kid like that. So, moving on. How do you make a ____ fall in love with you? Or even get him to like you? (for those who have fear of commitments *mm-hmm*) Well, i have a few things in mind.

1. You can’t just like a person. Well, you can. But it is always better to start as friends. I know many people who started out as couples and when they broke up, they had nothing to fall back on. No friendship, just awkwardness. So, friends first.

2. You don’t have to get dolled up every time you see him but being presentable and looking neat and awesome is a plus. But don’t go overboard. I don’t think anyone would appreciate a girl who looks like she’s on a sagala on a normal school day.

3. Be yourself. Capitalizing on the premise that you guys were friends before hand, you should keep your cool and act normal. Like how you would act before you realized you like him. Please please please don’t be clingy. Don’t act all possessive and sweet. Well you can be sweet. Just not over the top I’m gonna throw up from all the sugar sweet. Remember, just because you like him doesn’t mean you’re more than friends already. 

4. Never make him your priority. Don’t give up anything and everything for him. Out yourself above all (When it comes to your love life). The brain is above your heart for a reason.

5. Take it easy. Laugh, eat, dance, whatever. You do what you both enjoy doing. Don’t forget who you were before things got complicated because when things get more (and I mean more) complicated, you’ll think back on how things used to be so simple and realize how you’re starting to do crazier things by the minute.

6. Remember that if he likes you, he likes the person he hangs out with. The person he can easily be comfortable with. The person he can tell his stories to. No pressure, no regrets. So no need to change anything for him. And no need to get excited.

I really need to follow my own advice.

Hesitation at its finest.

Tired of looking at your name and not being able to do anything about it. I slept all day just so I wouldn’t have to think. Because when I wake up, I think of that stupid name. Now I’m here. Stuck at home. With a head ache and a pain in my  I WON’T EVEN GO THERE. Just stop. Please stop. I just want it to stop.